How to Get a Moment Alone….Or Not

Inspiration has been slim to nil lately.  I am falling into some doldrums and finding it hard to climb out.  In a bid at positivity, I am blaming the blues that can’t help but creep in as winter storm warnings drag into mid-April.  The positive part being that it’s only temporary.  Blurg.

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A couple evenings ago, I was home alone with my two sons, ages 3 1/2 and 16 mos.  Like any human, I needed a bathroom break.  I headed to the bathroom, and of course they followed me like a couple little ducklings.  (Why is it that when you need to leave the house in the next five minutes, you can’t even get them on the same level of the home as you, but when you need 90 seconds alone, you can’t seem to get them off your tail?)

I should be used to that, because really, it’s a fast learning curve as a parent to find that moments alone are few and far between, even in the case of using the toilet.  Nothing’s sacred anymore.

Bathroom Break

true story.

Anyway, my ducklings followed me into the bathroom this time, despite my attempts at distraction.  My youngest, Everett, really does resemble a duckling, because he’s still pretty new to this walking thing.  He toddles in after me, thumb firmly inserted in his mouth.  Caelum, the considerate and responsible big brother, follows, then turns and shuts the door behind them both.  We’re now all together, having an intimate bonding moment.  Oh goodness.

“Let me give you some privacy, Mama,” his voice conveying the thoughtfulness he deems apparent in his actions.  I mean, really, with the only three people in the house now cozied within a 2×2 area, certainly closing the door would be necessary to give me privacy.  (Note to self:  teach toddler the definition of “privacy.”)

As I sat there, I closed my eyes, trying not to let the “this cannot be my life right now” thoughts take over.  “What are you doing, Mama?” asked Caelum.

“Praying,” was the first word that popped out of my mouth.  And in that moment, I made it true.  “Thanking God for this time with you.”

Because as we all know, sometimes if you don’t laugh, you’re going to cry.

Baby Crying———————————————————————

Help another Diva get through this blue time.  Even if you can’t donate your talents or treasure right now, you can help by giving your prayers and support to other women on the Diva Connection site.  When you visit the site, be sure to log in, then leave a comment on the posts you read.  Sometimes all it takes is some encouragement and the knowledge that we’re not in this crazy world alone.  Let us know you’re out there.  It could make all the difference for a woman in need.


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Mark Your Calendars for May 11

Diva Connection Foundation is growing and empowering more women than ever!  That also means that more women are finding us and asking for help.  In order to continue spreading the good news about DC, with the hopes of raising funds to expand our connections and efforts, we have exciting news:

The launching of the new, hot, and fresh Diva Connection Magazine on May 11!  The magazine will feature stories from inspiring women in our community, on global women’s issues, and will also include the first women’s take-along list of Connections You Can Trust.  We surveyed women from the area and got their input on not only which businesses, events, and services they love in the community, but specifically WHY these connections are their most trusted.

You know how when you read a swimsuit review online, and it’s rated five stars with the words, “Great suit!  Love it!”  So, you think to yourself, “This must be a fantastic suit, I’ll order one!”  It arrives, you lock yourself in your closet, and you wiggle it on.  One look in the mirror and it’s clear:  this suit may be great for someone rockin’ the Ds, but it’s not doing your subliminal Bs any favors.  A better review would have explained exactly WHY that person rated it five stars:  “I love this suit because it holds in my larger girls without smooshing them down.  Perfect for larger chests.”

Women trust each other’s opinion like this, and we have harnessed the power of feminine feedback in Connections You Can Trust.   Plus, we’ve made it pocket-size so you can put it in your purse and bring it with you.

The first issue of Diva Connection Magazine will focus on what we know best:  Connections.  The cover feature will tell the stories of six women in the community (including our own Nicole Phillips and Chris Linnares) and connections that changed their lives.  We hope this magazine will inspire you and motivate you to reach out to others and make a connection that could change someone’s life.

Magazine Cover

 

As Diva Connection grows, the necessity for funding grows too.  DC Magazine is being published free of charge thanks to our sponsor, Forum Communications Company, and all proceeds from ad sales will benefit Diva Connection.  Shut. the. front. door.  Am I right?!  We could not be more excited for this opportunity to spread the word about this mission we believe will change the world.

Many people are always asking us how they can get involved and help Diva Connection.  If you have a business that sells to women or know someone who might be interested in advertising in Diva Connection Magazine, we encourage you to please contact Amy Fredrickson at afredrickson(at)forumcomm.com or 701.451.5629.  All ads are full-page, so you will have beautiful, long-lasting exposure.

Magazine Spec Sheet

Diva Connection:  Empowering Each Other.  Impacting the World.

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Festa Della Donna

March 8, 2005

Fiesole, Italia, a “suburb” of Firenze

I was in Italy for a semester abroad when I first experienced Festa Della Donna, or International Women’s Day.  Our chaperone, guide, and all-things-Europe expert, Bob, was in his 70s.  He was a hoot to be around, sharp, wise, and funny, and even pretty smooth around the ladies, although he was a life-long bachelor (or maybe that’s WHY he was a bachelor.)

Bob treated all of the girls in the program that Festa Della Donna to Baci chocolates and a rose.  What a way to uplift us!  I’ve never forgotten that, and how special it made me feel, to be appreciated for being a woman and for the unique gifts that being a woman brings to the world.  While the world in general may still be far from appreciating the female gender for being who we naturally are, considering us weaker, less intelligent, or simply not valuable as human beings, it can be truly life-changing to be surrounded by individuals or a larger organization that recognizes women’s special gifts and what we have to offer.  Diva Connection is built on that very foundation.International Women's Day Logo

It now strikes me as odd that I had never heard of International Women’s Day until I spent significant time abroad, as the holiday originated in the United States.  Diva Connection board member Susan Mathison has a great post on International Women’s Day, particularly from a business perspective.

I hope this day helps you to remember why women are so awesome, just as we are.  I hope you pass on that appreciation to another woman in your life.  Go to Diva Connection and comment on a post, even if you can’t fulfill the request; just some words of encouragement can lift a person up.

Who knows, you might just spark an idea or a movement….just like those women who began the holiday all those years ago.

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Push to the Limits of Your Comfort Zone

What inspires you?  To be a better person?  To reach out from your comfortable bubble and help someone?  To push yourself to the limits of the person you were created to be?

I’m reading a book right now that was recommended to me by more than one person, so I was very excited to finally delve into it.  Kisses from Katie isn’t the type of title that would have grabbed my attention on the shelf, but the cover has proved me wrong!  This book has made me question many of my daily decisions and lifetime motives.  One of the things I love most is not just that Katie’s voice is so relatable and honest, but that she is LIVING it.

I can sit here at my computer and wax romantic about the joys of giving back, how good it feels to help another woman, that it’s God’s plan for us to live as a community, but what good is that if I don’t put some action behind it?  This Katie takes it to a completely different level.  It’s stirring.

Katie Quote

At Diva Connection, we’re big proponents of the idea that it’s not enough to just BE grateful, but that your gratitude should carry over into your lifestyle.  It’s not enough (although it’s a start!) to look around and recognize your blessings.  We challenge you to take it a step further and ask yourself, “How can I share my blessings with another?  How can I make a difference in someone’s life?”

To those who have responded to that call via the Diva Connection website, THANK YOU.  Thank you from those of us at Diva Connection, thank you from the women you have helped, thank you from the families and children of those lives you’ve touched, and thank you from the larger community – your contribution is making a positive impact.

I would love to hear from our Divas out there – what inspires you?  What book have you read that stretched your comfort zone?  Which blogs do you follow for a daily dose of joy?  I know there are also individuals out there in our community who have that spirit and seem to radiate encouragement.  Who do you love to be around because of that earnestness?

Maybe instead of inspiration today, you just need a smile.  Either way, here’s the antidote:

P.S.  If you’re moved by Katie’s story, you can follow her blog and consider donating to her charity, Amazima.

P.P.S.  You know what else inspires me?  Seeing sandals taking over the displays at Famous Footwear.

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Happy Hearts Day

What a holiday.

Valentine’s Day for romantic love.  Giving Hearts Day for self-giving love.  And all on a day named after a saint of whom little is clearly known.

Our social media expert, Hannah Sorensen, has deemed it “Happy Hearts Day.”  What a perfect descriptor of this day when we share love and appreciation for those in our lives who mean something to us.  There are so many different kinds of love; I’ve always found it disappointing that our English language limits it to only one word.

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Diva Connection has been featured as a guest blogger on the Butterfly Phoenix blog today.  We are so grateful to share our story with more of the world!  A huge THANK YOU to Donna for spreading the word about DC.  Just another connection for change.

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As a final plea, if you haven’t already, please visit impactgiveback.org.  While of course we want your vote of support this day of giving, we also recognize there are a bounty of deserving nonprofits in the area who will benefit from a matched donation today.  We just urge you to give with your heart.  Whatever that means for you.  As of this posting, over $970,000 has been donated!  (And it’s not even noon….)  What a beautiful celebration of happy hearts.

Happy Hearts Day

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Because it’s everybody’s duty to give the world a reason to dance

I know it’s everywhere, but really, can you ever have too much inspiration? If you’ve been avoiding this (like I was), just give in now. It’s worth it.

YouTube Preview Image

“We got work to do.  We can cry about it, or we can dance about it.”

Happy Friday, Divas!  Now go get your dance on.

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Sharing Our Abundance

Last week, I heard a blip on the radio about results from a new study.  Of course.  There’s always a new study.  It started out so positive:

New study shows that people who give back really ARE happier! 

That’s great news, and something that the Divas could have told you, study or no.  But then came the kicker:

The reason people are happier is because they then perceive themselves as one who is able to give; they have an abundance and therefore don’t need to be on the receiving end.

Ouch.  Of course, when I first heard that, I was a little bummed and didn’t want to believe it.  Can we really be that shallow?  Is there no hope for mankind?!?  Pretty soon you’ll tell me that my red wine won’t actually help me live longer.  Pssh.  But as I’ve thought about it more, I do think there’s truth to this new finding, plus a bright side.

Giving should make us feel good because we’re helping a person; lightening their load; making this walk through life easier on someone else.  If it also makes us feel good because we realize we are in the position to give – our time, our talents, our treasure – that’s okay.  That’s actually something more of us should realize.  We are ALL in the position to give SOMETHING. 

Giving

That’s part of what I loved most the first time I came upon Diva Connection.  It’s not just about giving money (although almost all can afford to give financially at varying levels).  It’s also about realizing we can make connections and lift each other up through motivational support, teaching skills, lending a hand, sharing advice, or social interactions.

For me, the takeaway here is that, if you want to feel happy, you should not just give money away.  You should recognize your blessings, be thankful for your abundance, then share those gifts with others. 

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New Year, New Feelings

Keep Calm

Feeling drives everything we do.  It is the hidden motivation and, as I have come to believe, the only true lasting motivation that can keep us moving toward our goals.  Sure, gobs of money and a hot bod might be a great kick-start to get us off our butts, but those are not long-term motivating factors.  How we use that money to enrich our lives and how that physical energy makes us FEEL are true motivation for lasting change.

The motivational feeling can come in different forms.  It can be something we’re searching for (love, acceptance, security); something we’re avoiding (rejection, failure, boredom); or the cause of a resulting reaction (anger, frustration, sleepiness).  Any of these applications can be used in positive or negative ways.

This is what allows advertising to be so successful.  Ads play off of our feelings.  Don Draper creates an image, a snapshot of a life that incorporates a certain product which the ad is selling (think contented woman using a blue dish soap surrounded by cheerful children and sparkling kitchen).  When we view this image, our senses collide to create a feeling in us.  Our human nature causes us to believe that if we purchase said product, we can recreate that same feeling in our own lives on a regular basis.

All of these into-the-deep analyses are the result of watching a little teaser video online a couple weeks ago for Danielle LaPorte’s book and “multimedia guide” The Desire Map.  (Please note:  this should in no way to be taken as an endorsement for this book, program, or author.  I have done nothing beyond watch the snippet and read this webpage.  I cannot say if the book is helpful, harmful, or otherwise.)  However, just seeing this and reading a few lines about “you’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re actually chasing a feeling” turned on so many light bulbs for me, and I think for women in particular!

You can probably see where this is going.  It’s New Year’s Resolutions time, baby!  I’ll be honest; I’m not usually big into the New Year’s resolutions.  I have nothing against them, I just don’t see the beginning of a calendar year as necessarily the best place to review my life and set some goals.  Frankly, that just wouldn’t be often enough for me!  But in the light of this new “feelings as motivation” theory, I did find myself energized last week to create some resolutions of sort.  They all manifested as answers to the same question:

*In 2013, I want to feel…*

How do you want to feel this year?  Each and every day?  Don’t think about what you want to DO necessarily, but which feelings you desire.  Then work from there.  What are healthy and lasting ways in which you can achieve those feelings?  (Don’t forget, “healthy and lasting” is key here too.  Eating three pieces of pie in a single sitting might make you feel comforted in the moment, but I shouldn’t even have to point out that’s not healthy, and the comfort derived is fleeting at best.)

How did you answer that question for 2013?  If you said you want to feel Energized, Healthy, Sexy, Sweaty, or Challenged, then Diva Connection can help.  And you can help us, too.  We’ve recently been contacted by Dance-Fit to “Shake It for a Cause.”  Every week in 2013, Dance-Fit’s Sunday afternoon class will be free and open to the public!  All they ask is a free-will offering to support local charities.  Diva Connection is the “cause” for January-March!  You can donate any amount, and all proceeds will go to benefit Diva Connection and the women we support.  The classes are at 3 p.m. each Sunday.  Dance-Fit is located in the lower level of Catalyst Medical Center, 1800 21st Ave S in Fargo.

Dance-Fit Logo

dance your way to positive feelings

Want to feel Uplifted, Friendship, Inspired, Helpful, Empowered, Silly, or Supported?  Then get ready for a fun time, free appetizers, and a chance to connect with amazing women in our community the third Tuesday of every month from 5:30-7 p.m. at Maxwells (1380 9th St E) in West Fargo.  Come make new connections or strengthen old ones by having your next girls’ night out at the Diva Connection Happy Hour.  Maxwells is donating a portion of all sales on these third Tuesdays to Diva Connection Foundation.

Diva Connection Happy Hour

strengthening community

Here’s to an experience of positive feelings in 2013 and the support needed to go out and grab them for yourself – cheers!

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Seeking Inspiration

Inspiration:

  1. an inspiring or animating action or influence.
  2. a thing or person that inspires.
  3. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

Isn’t inspiration so often visual?  That’s why Pinterest is such a success and has spawned such terms as “Pinspiration.”  It’s not just a place you go to pin things you enjoy, but to find inspiration for remodeling, craft projects, or dinner.  The visuals are what cause our souls to stir, creating that spark inside us, which hopefully fans into a flame (versus sputtering out after three hours of web surfing).

Christmas Word Cloud

christmas favorites at diva connection

Technically speaking, a “word cloud” is a graphical representation of word frequency.  The more often a word is used (for example, as topics on a blog site), the larger it will be in the cloud.  It’s a quick visual of word popularity.

The word cloud above represents our favorite things of Christmas  here at Diva Connection.  Doesn’t it just give you warm fuzzies?  The holidays have a tendency to make us forget why we go to all the trouble in the first place, so I posted a little copy on my computer screen to inspire me during the next few weeks.

Christmas Cloud

a cloud for christmas inspiration

As the season of Christmas approaches, let’s all try to remember why it is we try so hard, to reach out and ask for a hand if we need it, and to offer one if we can.  If you need more inspiration, Diva Connection is a great place to start.

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Learning to Receive

Give. Connect. Receive.

Giving & ReceivingOn the surface it seems so simple, representing what Diva Connection is designed for:  giving to other women, making the connection, and receiving things you need.  But, like many things, if you dig a little deeper, this simple three-word phrase holds so much more.

A couple years ago, I was feeling stifled.  A friend was doing a wonderful job of gently pushing me to do some closer examination of myself and to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses.  I thought I had so much to give; the only thing standing in my way was finding a place for all my love to go!  Nicole Phillips’ grandmother’s poem sums up this feeling that I think is familiar to many women when she mentions the limitless amounts of love we give and how this is what imparts meaning to our lives.

However, a reflection from my friend handed me a wake-up call that I wasn’t very eager to answer.  He saw my biggest weakness as an inability to receive.  Excuse me?

First off, I disagreed, as I saw myself as perfectly adept at receiving love from my husband and son, praise from my parents, and gifts from thoughtful friends!  Besides, receiving has such a negative connotation in my mind when compared with giving.  Receiving too much makes me feel greedy, selfish, and narcissistic.  I was perfectly happy to focus on what I had to give, thankyouverymuch.

Fast forward two years, and this same friend now tells me that my ability to receive love is one of my strongest assets and one of his favorite qualities in me.  How did that happen?

Turns out, there was some truth (I said some; I’m not yet willing to concede all) to that little nugget of wisdom from my friend’s perspective.  By focusing all of my energy on what I had to give, both emotionally and in terms of time and efforts, I was creating a barrier to the types of close, fulfilling relationships and connections that I was seeking.  I just didn’t realize it.  I thought that by always being the one to listen, to ask questions, and to give advice, I was holding down my half of the relationship teeter-totter.  But to enjoy the ride, you must go up and down.  By always holding my end down, I was never giving others the chance to really give to me.

Teeter TotterNow I try to remember how good it makes me feel when someone allows me to give to them, whether it’s a material gift at Christmas, holding the door open when someone’s hands are full, or giving the gift of my presence to listen and nod politely.  By allowing myself to receive these same tidbits of thoughtfulness, I am actually giving too – I am gifting others the fulfillment of giving to me and having it be warmly received.  This could also be called a connection.  Just as I want to truly know others, they want to truly know me.  I don’t think of others as selfish or self-absorbed when they receive my love, so why would they think that about me?

Like everything in life, it’s about that ever-elusive “balance.”  Give too much, and you can turn into a doormat, or the pushy Marie Barone.  Receive too much, and entitlement starts to seep into all of your interactions.  Everything in moderation, as my mom has always said.

Fortunately, Diva Connection’s mission is to create a community in which women can both give and receive as needed to empower themselves and enrich our world.  Our founder, Chris Linnares, teaches a seminar called Diva Dance.  One of the steps she requires of the women is to ask for help no less than five times in the next week.  FIVE TIMES!  Asking for help makes us vulnerable, but it creates an opportunity for us to receive.  Receiving gives someone else the chance to give.  Giving creates a connection, a relationship, and makes us feel good!  It’s a beautiful cycle, but one that cannot work on giving alone.  We’re all in this together, and graciously receiving holds just as much weight as heartfelt giving in the Diva Connection community.

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